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G-FORCE |
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When I was a kid, I owned a couple
of guinea pigs - Windy and Spunky - two of the dumbest pets I owned. This
included a dozen or so mice (that kept reproducing), a rat (suitably named
Geoffrey Jr.), half-dozen gerbils, chameleons, two parakeets, a parrot (named
Crock), two Alaskan Malamutes (named Kipnuk and Shinook), and a ribbon snake that escaped somehow or
other. Windy and Spunky were cute mind you;
but they were dumber than a box of rocks. In fact that statement might be an
insult to a box of rocks! They were both also very lazy. The
preferred exercise was eating and sleeping. They had a running wheel in the
cage but opted never to use it. They other annoying thing they did was squeal
at night - all night! I assure you they died of natural causes though it was
tempting some nights. I say this because I find it
interesting that director/writer Hoyt Yeatman chose
Guinea pigs as the animal of choice for the Disney film "G-Force". |
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Not only are these guinea pigs
smart, but they are also active and in shape for
the most part. Their names are Darwin (Sam
Rockwell), Bucky (Steve Buscemi), Juarez (Penelope
Cruz), Blaster (Tracy Morgan) and a walk-on named Hurley (Jon Favreau). Hurly is actually the most realistic of the
group - fat, lazy and not-to-bright. The additional team members include
a mole named Speckles and a fly that provides aerial recon. Yes these rodents (and fly) form an
elite-fighting group that is out to save the world. Provided their budget
isn’t cut. They are the brainchild of Ben (Zach
Galifianakis) who has the well trained highly intelligent critters infiltrate a billionaires estate
to gather information. The billionaire, named Saber (Bill Nighy)
is head of the worlds largest home appliance company. |
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He has installed a microchip in every
appliance that his company makes and, on a specific date, is going to
activate all the chips so they form the world largest consumer information
network. Then take over the world apparently to destroy everyone. Saber is assisted by an unknown
voice that is the actual mastermind of he scheme. However, the G-Force infiltration
nets a big zero and the fed's cut off the funding. It is now up to the guinea
pigs to escape from a pet shop, stop the chip activation and prove they were
right. There are several inconsistencies
that I noticed. The most obvious goof was the fact that the guinea pigs needs
a translator for humans to understand them, then
suddenly they didn't. I noticed it, the kid behind me
noticed it and you will notice it. Otherwise "G-Force" is a fairly nice
mediocre animated feature that young children will enjoy. Only because the
guinea pigs are adorable. The voices were merely average save
for Nick Cage as Speckles. He has an interesting snidely voice that works
perfectly. Penelope Cruz's character was confusing and the rest indistinct. For family entertainment though,
G-Force works. It's better than "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" (which isn't hard) and won't
totally bored parents. The 3-D is merely part of the animation landscape now
and not noteworthy. "G-Force" will probably do wonders for
the guinea pig sales at pet stores. --GEOFFREY BURTON
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