HAPPY TEARS

HAPPY TEARS

Yet another shining example that Hollywood has run out of ideas and scripts.

Two grown women move back home to take care of their ailing father. Sound familiar? It should.

A couple of years ago Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney had to take care of their ailing dad in "Savages". Evan Rachel Wood had to take care of a deranged ailing Michael Douglas in "The King of California" also a couple of years ago. I'm sure I could did up another half dozen films that addressed the same theme if I were to apply myself. But I won't.

This time Mitchell Lichtenstein takes a crack at it. You'll remember him from "Teeth" a couple of years ago.

You didn't see "Teeth"? that's the film about the girl who learns she has teeth in her vagina; teeth that come in handy whenever she is sexually accosted. Don't worry, after it created a stir at Sundance, it died a vicious death when it was finally released. No body saw it.

Lichtenstein takes a safer route this time by casting Demi Moore and Parker Posey as two completely different sisters who return home to tend to dad.

Demi as Laura is a casual hippie. Parker as Jayne is prim and proper.

Their dad is Joe (Rip Torn) who happens to already have a slutty nurse named Shelley (Ellen Barkin) taking care of him. And boy is she taking care of him, as only a Barkin character can!

So between feuding with Shelley and themselves, the sisters embark on the traditional let's get cozy and reminisce periods. The recall their dad's stories of hidden wealth and wonder if it might be true - especially since nurse Shelley seems to be of the same mind.

But the story is weak at best. To cover it up Lichtenstein resorts to cheap effects and gimmicks. it doesn't work.

Neither does the film, but that doesn't matter. It's only going to be in theaterss for a week then it's off to DVD land or on-demand. There won't be much of a demand. --GEOFFREY BURTON

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