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HOUSE OF THE DEVIL |
ZERO |
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I could easily sum this film up with two words: it sucks. Unlike most bad films I'm not going to waste a lot of time telling you every level of suckiness
that "the House of the Devil" dwells. Just a couple. To begin, this is a boring film. It is not good to have a horror film that is boring. If
people are falling asleep then there is not enough screaming and bloodletting in the film. THAT is an understatement for "The House of the Devil". The movie opens with Samantha (Jocelin Donahue) walking down the street. Five minutes of walking (while the credits roll).
Know she's not encountering anyone. She not running from a masked stranger. She's not flashing tits. She's just walking. |
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I guess that would even be okay if she was hot. But alas,
she is just a chick walking down the street. The film would have been 300% better if at the end of the walk she got blown away.
But she doesn't. Anyway, Samantha is short on cash, much as any plain Jane chick might be,
because the hot chicks have guys giving them cash and buying them stuff. But not Samantha. So she needs to find some work. Here's a unique idea, how about babysitting? That is what she does. She gets a mysterious call requesting a babysitter, which she agrees to.
But not before a back and forth trying to reach the individual. |
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She finally gets to the house, which is suitably lying on the outskirts
of town in an isolated area. There she meet Mr Ulman (Tom Noonan) who is kind of quirky. He tells her that
there is no baby, but he needs her to make sure his hidden mother is okay while he and his wife go out. His wife is played my Mary Woronov and appears briefly before they leave. Now we are left with Samantha in the house by herself with the mysterious
mother upstairs. She tries to amuse herself by watching television but insteads decides to take a long boring tour of the house. Oh hey, in the meantime her best friend (who dropped her off)
gets her brains splattered. All right, finally some action! Oops, wrong. False alarm there is more walking around the house before the anticlimactic action packed last ten minutes. Oh, beside being boring, we don't even care about Samantha. For all it's worth let her die! Don't slit your wrists while you suffer
through this thing. --GEOFFREY BURTON
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