LEGION

LEGION

There were no press screenings for "Legion".

The Studio, Screen Gems, thought it unwise to let critics see this film for fear that bad press would do it in. In fact, all of the public screenings were held two hours before the film opened to avoid bad "word of mouth". I happened to go to the Chicago public screening incognito.

First let me say, that it is disappointing to see a once fine actor like Dennis Quaid appear in three stinkers in rapid succession - "GI Joe", "Pandorum" and now "Legion"

Second I must once again ask who do you have to sleep with to get funding for a movie this bad... but moreover, how did director Scott Stewart convince a fairly decent cast to lower their standards and join in this crapshoot?

Adrianne Palicki is Charlie a girl from a small drink-water town somewhere between Las Vegas and Los Angeles. She is eight and one half months pregnant with a child who's father has taken a hike (that isn't clear). Lucas Black play Jeep, the small town guy who dotes over Charlie and her unborn baby. His dad is Bob (Quaid) who thinks is son is an idiot for doting over a chick who sleeps with everyone but him.

Bob owns Paradise Falls, a combo restaurant/gas station/service station that barely gets by. His cook Percy (Charles Dutton) is a one hand gentile sort. They have as guests a family of three Howard (Jon Tenney), Sandra (Kate Walsh) and Audrey Anderson(Willa Holland) - a family whose BMW has broken down and are waiting for Jeep to figure out the repair. They are joined by Kyle (Tyrese Gibson) who is lost.

A little old lady named Gladys (Jeanette Miller) arrives. She seems sweet enough until she tells Charlie her unborn baby will burn - perhaps due to the lack of a father. Gladys then climbs the wall and ceiling, attacks Howard (biting off his neck) and is ultimately killed by Kyle, who happens to be carrying his piece.

Not long after this incident they are joined by another stranger name Michael (Paul Bettany - recently from "Young Victoria" as Lord Melbourn). Michael is a former angel - he cut off his wings - there to warn them the Apocalypse has begun. moreover, it's heading their way and it wants the unborn baby.

There is no explanation as to why the baby is significant, just that the evil angels want the baby dead so that God can finish wiping out humanity.

Sure enough the little business finds itself under siege by hundreds of converted humans who are under the spell of several second hand special effects.

It's a basic good vs evil moment except for one small problem.

There is never an explanation for anything. This is just the way it is. Stewart Scott steals themes from "Night of the Living Dead", "The Seventh Sign" and a couple of other minor films whose titles fail me at this moment. But there is never an explanation.

Good turns by Dutton Gibson and Holland save "Legion" from getting a Zero. Everyone else is clearly in it for the paycheck. So consider this the bad press Screen Gems was afraid of. Consider this review the negative word-of-mouth they wanted to avoid. Avoid "Legion". --GEOFFREY BURTON

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