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NINJA ASSASSIN |
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I imagine there are few folk out there who don't miss the old
karate movies of the 70s. You know the ones where scores of well trained martial artists fling themselves
into an arena of battle against one guy or a small group. I loved it when they would attack individually - duly waiting their turns -
and ultimately getting the living crap beaten out of themselves by that one man or small group. What a hoot! Didn't they ever think of attacking all at once and just mashing the enemy?. I don't remember when the Ninja fighters were introduced as
villains - the earliest film I saw was "The Red Shadow" (1961) when the mystic of the Ninja was revealed.
Ninja were always shadowy figures of mythical proportion. But they were never afraid of anything -
not even the ancient Shoguns. |
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Ninjas were generally bad guys. But there was always someone, trained as
a ninja, who turns around and beats the bad ninjas. We remember this from "The Octagon" when Chuck Norris
beat the crap out of a bunch of ninjas without losing one drop of blood! I don't remember if the late great Bruce Lee fought ninjas or played a ninja, but
we all know that he would have been one bad ass ninja if he had. Jet Li played a ninja, most recently in "War" (2007)when he played a secret
warrior out for vengeance. Now it's Rain's turn. Rain is the Korean born dancer who's slowly making inroads to the big screen. We saw him
as a rogue racer in 2008s "Speed Racer". Uh, yeah, I said dancer - that was not a typo. Yes, that's right a dancer is the guy that comes and kicks ninja butt in
the latest martial arts thriller "Ninja Assassin". Rain is Raizo - kidnapped as a child and raised in a ninja training camp by an evil guy
named Ozunu (played dutifully by ninja movie veteran Sho Kosugi). Ozunu trains the kids using pain and torture as motivation to do well.
If they kids are still reluctant to learn then they are killed. Once completely trained, he hires them out
as government assassins for the tidy sum of 100 pounds of gold. |
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While in training Raizo became smitten with a girl ninja trainee who thought he had a good
heart. She wanted more out of life than running around killing folk with her ninja skills - so she was
terminated by Ozunu using one of the other kids. But it is after Raizo kills his first victim that he decides ninja life isn't for him and
he breaks away from the group. Natch they are now out looking for him. Enter the lovely Naomie Harris as European investigator
Mika. She is based in Berlin and - though not speaking a word of German or even having the slightest European accent - begins
tracking a couple of murders when she realizes the deaths are the work of
the mythical ninjas. She convinces her boss Maslow (Ben Miles) who speaks with a clearly British accent, that
the murders are the work of ninjas. He agrees thus making her a target for the ninjas. Yes in the real world the ninjas would have whacked her effortlessly,
but this is Hollywood - sorta - and you just don't whack the last pretty girl when you need her to become smitten with
the hero. This isn't a James Bond movie! |
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"Ninja Assassin" is full of flaws. The main one being they are in Berlin yet we don't encounter one German
speaking person. I found that very strange. But it is full of lots of energy and lots of blood. In particular when the nija army destroys the
well armed military trained combat unit! And yes,
the dancer takes on all ninjas. Quite ingeniusly I might add - using a long whip-like chain like thing with a knife on the end,
which he whips around like a dancers feather boa! This makes it so that Rain didn't have to become a black belt over-night and
could have a fairly convincing weapon to whack ninjas! And brother, there is a lot of ninja whacking in "Ninja Assassin". And lots of blood. TONS of blood!
But it is all in good fun which makes it a great Thanksgiving Day movie for those who would like to find alternate
ways to slice turkey! --GEOFFREY BURTON
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