WHEN IN ROME

WHEN IN ROME

ZERO

"When in Rome" is typical of the crap I expect to see in January and less. More toward the less part.

In what can only be described as a last gasp for work Danny De Vito and Angelica Huston appear in this ghastly Mark Johnson directed 'thing' he calls a movie. Along with Will Arnett, they provide support to the star Kristen Bell who needs more than support.

This is just a bad movie. Period.

In a nutshell Kristen Bell's character Beth goes to Rome to attend her sisters wedding. She has been critical of her sister's whirlwind relationship leading up to the marriage in less than two weeks, but relents eventually.

The wedding goes off with several stupid slapstick incidents and offenses that seemed to have been pasted in to try to make the film funny. It failed.

During the wedding she encounters a guy named Nick (Josh Duhamel) who joins in the slapstick. They seem to hit it off when she espies him kissing another women.

This cements her theory that men a pigs. So she goes outside to Trevi fountain and picks up four coins which someone tossed in for wishes.

Magically, three of the four men come out of nowhere to pursue her. They are a street magician (Jon Heder), a painter (Will Arnett) a sausage maker (DeVito) and a model (Dax Shepard). She also found a poker chip but it belonged to Nick and doesn't have the same stupefying effect.

The four men follow her back to the US and begin trying to woo here with more slapstick tricks. She is told by he new brother in law the only way to break the spell is to return the coins to the fountain and...

Wait a sec. That's all I bare to say without suffering flashbacks concerning my attending the movie. This was an awful movie. A complete insult.

First and foremost, no one would pursue an anorexic looking child like Kristen Bell. This is NOT the women whom we want to see in a low cut dress with her sternum showing! Granted I am actually attracted to slim women... but this girl is bony and sends the wrong message to the films target audience. Teen aged girls: No man will pursue you around the corner, let alone the world if you look like Bell!

There is no upside to the message. And I don't care if it's politically incorrect.

"When in Rome" is a bad film. The message should be; when in Rome, do as the Romans do and EAT! --GEOFFREY BURTON

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